Why Do The Important Thoughts Come To Mind At The Worst Time??

I promised my friend, Lisa, that we would take the monkeys to a local water park tomorrow and spend the day letting them swim their energy out. We made these plans over a week ago.

But today, a huge, crashing realization hit me.

The last time I went swimming or ever needed a swimsuit was over two years ago, before MS came to stay.

Since then I've lost almost 100 lbs (I wasn't fat, I was........overly healthy) and my swimsuit must be six or seven sizes too big for me now!

What am I gonna do?

I can't go out and buy a swimsuit now! It's July for crying out loud! The only suits that are left in stores now are the ugly, tent-like ones that nobody wanted to buy in the first place. I can't be seen in one of those!

Being seen in one of those would totally kill my "Cool Factor".

But I can't wear the one I have either.
Can't you just imagine the shock and horror on the little kids faces when my teeny girls keep making appearences throughout the day?

They would be scarred for life!

I wonder if this style of suit has come back into style yet? This would cover up all of my wobbly-bits and keep my girls in check. I wonder if I can find one of these by tomorrow morning?

As My Father Always Said "Sometimes, The Best Laid Plans Don't Always Get You Laid The Way You Planned"

I hope all of you enjoyed your holiday weekend and that your day was filled with stuffing yourselves with delicious food that someone grilled in their back yards (and hopefully didn't drop on the ground on their way back to the house!).

The July 4th holiday started out pretty great here for us at Rambling Acres.

Being me, there was, of course, one trip to the grocery store to buy the items that would later be turned into the delicious food cooked on the grill.

I am always prepared like that.

It turns out that I'm not the only person who does my holiday food shopping on the actual holiday because the store was filled with people who kept insisting on getting in my way.

Stupid people..Don't they know my motto for people who annoy me?

Uh-huh, that's right and don't you forget it!

The good news is that I made it through the store without having to actually punch anyone in the face.

That doesn't mean I wasn't ready if the need arose...

After the trip to the store (and maybe a tiny nap for me) it was time to cook-out.

Here's a picture of all of my monkeys, and even my momma, having some corn on the cob. (I am almost certain my mother will thank me a thousand times for putting this picture of here on here)(that's why I'm a rebel). If you'll look in the upper left-hand corner, you'll notice that the oldest monkey is so talented at corn-on-the-cob eating that she doesn't even have to use her hands anymore!

I am so proud of my gifted monkeys!

After we got home from the fireworks (which I will get to in a minute) we set the monkeys loose in the dark with some sparklers.

Look at my boy! He's hamming it up for the camera and not setting himself on fire!

Can you all say "G-I-F-T-E-D??"
Here's the center monkey with her sparkler. Thank goodness she's not hiding all of her happiness!

The oldest monkey here is modeling a pair of red, white, and blue flashing catseye sunglasses that their nana bought for them at the park before the fireworks started.

I'm not sure why the glasses inspired her to flash some sort of gang sign.

We got to the park three hours before the scheduled time for the fireworks to go off. I'm not new to this and I knew that we had to find the perfect spot to stake our claim. There were blankets to lay out, folding chairs to...um...unfold...and vendors selling funnel cakes to harrass.

I was so super excited this year because my new camera has a setting on it that is just for taking pictures of fireworks.

I was expecting to get something like this:

Instead, I ended up getting the picture of some girls backend.

Let me explain. I couldn't believe how lucky we were to get such a great spot since there were so many people there. But they were all scattered out and we were basically in a spot all by ourselves.

But then the first firework went off and suddenly, like a wave in the ocean, all of these ADULT people swooshed in and stood right in front of us, one guy spilling my much needed coffee onto my favorite quilt!!

And even though the show was going on up in the sky, my kids couldn't see them because of all of the tall adults who paid no attention to them and were standing right in front of them.

So, while I was hoping for a picture like the one above, this is what I ended up with.

I must be far behind the fashion times because I had no idea that gold shirts and matching shoes, shorts and panty hose were back in style!
So, while this tacky dressed woman may never know my retaliation, the world wide web will know that I didn't stand by and do nothing!
Well, atleast you all will!
When I said I wanted "a magical evening" I did not mean a tacky dressed fairy in a shiny gold shirt dazzling us with her behind!!

Happy 4th of July!!

I've been trying to post a video on here from youtube but, for whatever reason, youtube and blogger have decided to stop speaking.


This video is really cute. It's a different take on fireworks. My favorite part is where the peeps little bunny heads are blown off and turn into fireworks in the sky.


Nothing says "Happy 4th of July" like beheaded peeps, right?


I've always loved this holiday, even before I knew what we were even celebrating.


But my most favorite memories are two that are intertwined.


When I was "Little Me" my parents always took me to the next town over for the celebrations held at a local park. There were carnival rides, food vendors, and an orchestra that played extremeley peppy, patriotic songs while you waited for it to get dark enough for the fireworks to start.


I always knew when it was time because my mom would lay one of my favorite quilts out on the grass and my father would say "Ok Boogitt (that was his nickname for me because I loved to dance, or boogie) it's time."


We would then lay down on the quilt and watch the sky for the first sparkle.


When the fireworks started, they looked like they were bursting right over our heads. The little sparkling trails looked like they would land right on us.


Two years ago, I took my monkeys back to my hometown for the holiday and we went to the same park. Being "civilized", I had insisted on taking folding chairs but my mom made sure that she packed that same quilt into the back of the car.


When it was time for the show to start, I saw her laying the quilt out on the ground and I remembered all of those times I had laid on it with my parents as a kid.


To hell with civility!


I turned to the monkeys and said "Ok kids, we're all going to lay down on the quilt." They looked at me like I was nuts (I was a bit of a germaphobe back then and grass is, well, ewww!) but they did as I told them to.


When the first firework went off, it was just as I rememebered it as a kid.


They were bursting right over us, just for us.


I didn't know if they would remember that night but this morning, when I told them that we were going to go see fireworks tonight, the oldest monkey said "Momma, could you do that magic thing where you made them pop right over our heads again? Please?"


I hope you all enjoy your holiday. Make sure you stay safe and don't forget to add the "magic".


Happy 4th of July!
"Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better."
-Albert Camus

Are Any Of You Fluent In Chinese? Maybe I Should Go To The Local Chinese Restaraunt for Translation?

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but lately I've been getting a lot of comments from someone, whose name I cannot pronounce or read, and I have no idea what the nature of these comments are since they appear to be written in Chinese.

I don't know what I've done to deserve all of this attention...maybe it's because of the post where I ranted and raved all about how I blame China for everything or maybe it's because of the title I gave the post: I'm Gonna Go Down To The Local Chinese Place And Kick One Of The Workers I wasn't really going to kick one of them, but now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't go down there in search of a translator.

But now it's become a bit of a battle of wills between me and my little friend.

Every morning I check my email and find that this person has left multiple comments on multiple posts.

I then shake my fists at my computer screen and say "OH NO YOU DON'T!!" and then delete every last one of them.

Then the next morning, I check my email only to find that the process has been repeated.

Does anyone know what I need to do to get this to end once and for all?

I'm terrified that I'm going to wake up one day to find that my blog has been taken over and is now a Chinese porn site!!

Help!

P.S. This post is also going into the label titled "I Blame China"....haha

P.P.S. I'm planning another Prize Giveaway Contest. I don't know what you're gonna have to do to win yet but it's gonna be GREAT!!!!

P.P.S.S. Thank You Bee for getting rid of those annoying boxes!! I Love Ya!!!

I'm Gonna Talk About Some TV Here Because I Have No Other Ideas To Run With

Summertime is here in all of it's raging hot glory. Summer has turned me into a hermit these past few years and I'm even worse this year, what with all of the damn pop-ins.
It turns out that the ole' illness that is MS does not like heat.
So, what do I do while I'm shut up in the house all the time...you ask?
I watch TV. More than I have ever cared to watch in my entire life!
Some of the shows I've been watching these past few weeks are:
True Blood
This show isn't exactly part of my daytime viewing because it's on at night. This is part of my "insomnia viewing", if you will.
When I first watched this show, I honestly thought it was a really bad joke.
It's set in Lousiana and the accents are so thick that by the end of each episode, I'm ready to punch them all in the forehead and then there's the whole "fang thing".
The vampires in this show are nothing like the ones in Twilight. When they're getting ready to "feed" on someone, they open their mouths and there's this clicking sound and their fangs pop out as if they were spring loaded.
The storylines are improving and you're almost always guarenteed a soft-core porn love making session or two in each episode.
Some of my favorite saying from this show are:
*Bill (the vampire in the picture above) always says things like "I can not and I will not..yada yada yada...."
*The Vampires are new into a society that is having a hard time accepting them (I guess you would say that they are the "gay" people in Vampireland) so the terms "die fangers" and "fangbanger" are used a lot.
*They're are a lot of conversations around the idea of humans marrying a "fanger".
Basically, this show is like a really bad trainwreck that, no matter how hard you try, you can not and you will not look away and, before you know it, you have the entire season recorded on your DVR.



Jon and Kate Plus Eight (soon to be titled something like "Jon and Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon or Kate or Both")(I refuse to post a picture of them and besides you already know who they are)

I know that there has always been a huge following of this show, but honestly the first time I watched it I hated it. Seriously, if I wanted to watch things like children fighting and screaming or someone's husband shrugging all the time, I would just turn the TV off and watch my own family.
Of course, I have been DVRing this season because everything is falling apart and I just cannot get enough of Jon and Kate repeating over and over "I'm doing everything for the kids" as if it's a huge competition.
It's not like one of them is going to finally say "Ok, you win! You're doing so much more of everything for the kids than I am!"
One thing I'm getting really sick of is all of the pictures of them being posted in every magazine and on every "news" website being, of all things, human.
Kate spanks one of her kids and suddenly she's on the front page of People magazine for the one millionth time.
I don't remember my picture showing up on these things when my grandma used to swat me with her flyswatter for being a turd.
It happens. And if you didn't set your kids straight when they are being turds then they will someday grow up to be adult turds and nobody likes an adult turd. Can I get an "Amen"??



Family Guy
I know this one has been on for a while but I had never watched it until this summer. Now I'm all bummed out because I actually like it and I'm kicking myself for missing all of the previous seasons.
That little baby with the football shaped head reminds me of one of my own kids.
Em is always trying to obtain world domination, stealing toys from others, and outsmarting everyone around her.

So, that's what I've been watching lately. What are you all in to?

P.S. I'm so excited! It's "New Tattoo Time" again for yours truly and I'm having the best time putting the whole thing together! I'm not going to tell you what it is but I'll give you some hints:
It's going to contain henna, zodiac, and a kick ass butterfly!!
I'll show you when it's mine!